Maintaining Friendships Can be a Struggle for Those with ADD/ADHD

Maintaining friendships can be a struggle for those with ADD/ADHD, but positive relationships are important in our lives. Without them we can feel isolated and alone. With them we feel connected and valued.

In What Ways Can ADHD Negatively Impact Social Relationships?
Recently, the headline on a news site listed the five best ways to be happy in life. The first thing listed was to highly consider the needs of friends. It would seem that those with ADHD might consistently receive a low score in this area. We get caught up in our own lives, challenged with trying to manage all that is happening, so that we often fail to think about others and what we can do for them.

When we are overwhelmed, even thinking about doing one more thing is one thing too many. If this "one more thing" is for someone else, it can easily never make it onto our radar screens. We tell ourselves, "It is not that important." "They won't notice that I don't send a thank you note...send a birthday card...get them a small gift of appreciation...call them to congratulate them on a recent success...whatever. The opportunity to show a friend that we care about them and that they are important to us comes...and goes....and we have done it again--or should I say "not done it again." Friends that don't feel acknowledged and appreciated on a regular basis can often fall to the wayside as they ask themselves, "What is there in this relationship for me?"

A recent client told me he enjoys having friends, but often gets bored with them, feeling the need for a break. He finds it hard to be consistent in regularly enjoying their company, regularly paying them attention and providing them with goodwill. On other occasions, something else takes precedence for how he spends his time. He chooses learning to use his new computer, as this interests him more than going to a movie with his friend.

His erratic behavior--"I want to be with you today but then might not want to see you for several months"--is not the way to handle friendships. The person on the receiving end of this kind of friendship might feel used--"He only contacts me when he has nothing better to do."

Other Issues Regarding Relationships
Then there are the common complaints: People with ADHD don't listen. They interrupt. They introduce totally unrelated topics. In other words, they miss the beats of social interactions.

ADHD Coaching can help you develop healthy and satisfying relationships. Contact Cynthia fto set up a trial session at 253-238-0729 or info@cynthiahammer.com